6 months

6 months. Half a year. Sometimes it feels like an eternity and other times it seems like a blink of the eye. 6 months ago I had no idea if my little man would still be here. What his life would be like. I'm so glad he's here and in our family. I wouldn't trade him for the world. I love his guts. Literally and figuratively. I tell him that every night.

Because allergies run in our family(dang it), long before baby #2 entered this world, the allergist recommended we feed "it" nothing but breast milk until 6 months of age. This can lessen the likelihood of developing allergies. I believe her and I followed her advice. Except I cheated by about 2 weeks. I was dying to feed Jax some rice cereal. Not so much for his sake, but more for mine. Maybe to feel "normal?" Plus I know how much he loves to eat and how much/all of his life will revolve around food.

The rice cereal was well received. He didn't quite know how to keep it all in but he enjoyed the little bit he was able to swallow.

With his condition (I'll just refer to it as SG instead of typing out short gut each time) there is no telling which foods he'll be able to tolerate and won't tolerate. There are some that most SG patients don't do well with but only trial and error will show us. I have to proceed with solids in the same fashion as I did with Carter. One at a time, and only that food for 3-5 days. To make sure he will tolerate it. Not going into anaphylaxis shock like Carter, but diarrhea. So far so good with the rice cereal. And hoping that solid foods will slow the little guy down a bit. It's sad when you hope your baby might get constipated!

The tentative plan with solid foods is this: NO fruits. None. Those keep healthy movement...we don't need that. So for now, no fruits. Hopefully some day he can try them and handle them in small amounts. He can try some veggies. But not any that can cause gas (broccoli/ onions) and staying away from the higher calorie veggies. Veggies still have natural sugars and sugar is hard for SG people. So some veggies but not all. We've been told that the best thing to try next is Meat! Pureed, stinky baby meat. Proteins are good for his condition and less likely to cause mayhem inside! And unlike most babies, the dietitian said to add table salt to the meat if he doesn't like it. He doesn't absorb as much sodium as most people so some added salt is fine, even recommended. So this whole food thing will be interesting. Kind of intimidating to be honest.

I was never able to feed Carter normally either. We could never sneak him bites off our plates because of his allergies and now we can't with Jax either. I know it doesn't really matter, but it's something I feel bad about missing. Sneaking him a bite of my ice cream and cake or something.

I allow myself to feel bad only for a bit. And then I am humbled by this picture:

Bottle on the right: 5 mL of milk. That's 1 tiny teaspoon. When Jax was finally able to start eating by mouth, at about 10 days old, this was all he was allowed to eat, every 3 hours. Nothing more. It was almost a joke to put this tiny amount through a bottle nipple. One day he threw up and the Dr. took him down to 2 mL. Do you know how hard it is to measure that tiny of an amount? But he would take those 5 mL like a champ and burp like he'd finished a real bottle. Never been prouder!

The bottle on the left is where he is now. Full feeds. Full calories. 5 1/2 ounces every 3 hours. He isn't absorbing the full amount of calories but our hopes and prayers are that he will, and soon. He has impressed all his Dr.s and surgeons by eating full feeds by mouth. Some SG people never eat by mouth. Some are fed entirely by TPN(nutrition through veins) and others by a tube directly into their stomach. Jax is still on TPN to supplement what he isn't absorbing. But even that progress has amazed some. He started on 24 hours of TPN. 100% of his nutrition was being pumped into his veins, missing the digestive system. When we brought him home the first time he was on 21 hours. Today: 12 hours. And most likely he will stay here for awhile. His surgeon predicted 18-24 months on TPN. We're hoping for less but preparing for the long haul. Everytime we talk with someone new they are amazed that he is on as little TPN as he is. He's our miracle baby. Still a long road but we're willing.

To get Jax more interested in toys and rolling around we've been letting him experiment with different foods that will provide an extra "uumph" to his taste buds. First the carrot. Not impressed. (he's not sporting an off the shoulder outfit. We just leave one arm out while he is connected to his TPN)
Give the kid licorice.....much better! The only problem is that his older brother gets a little jealous and usually ends up needing his own piece.

His coordination to get this skinny piece of licorice in his mouth is still improving. He often misses but he gets that tongue of his and licks at it and makes the cutest noises.

And lastly, a Pajama shot. 13 lbs and 6 ounces of cuteness. We have fought sooo VERY very hard for these 13 1/2 pounds. And we're proud of them, and very thankful for them. Jax will never be the biggest kid in his class but that's ok. We wouldn't want him to be the biggest AND the cutest!

He is in the 3rd% for weight and 81st% for height. Our string bean. I am having the hardest time finding things for him to wear. His length is one size and his weight is another. He either gets to wear really baggy clothes or high waters. Hopefully we can even the playing ground between those 2 sometime soon.

Happy 6 months Jax. We are so grateful for you and so glad you're ours. We love every bit of you and fall deeper in love each day.

Love your guts!

End of October

Lots of pictures to finish off the month so I will start with Halloween and then go in no particular order.

Since we couldn't celebrate Halloween the way I had planned in my head we made the best of a crappy situation and delighted all the nurses with a cute monkey...

This monkey even had a felt banana to complete his costume. The hat hit his big old IV that was on the top of his head. Which I was glad for. Then when we look back on these pictures years from now, we won't even remember we were in the hospital.

We left the hospital for a bit and took Carter trick or treating around the neighborhood. He had a lot of fun and no hesitations at all. He even said Trick or Treat this year.

He wore the same costume this year, that he wore last year. Per his request. Although last year he called himself a dinosaur and this year a dragon. So really they were different costumes if you take that into effect. He is really smart and aware of his food allergies and takes them very seriously(luckily). At the doors where they handed out chocolate candy or stuff he knew he couldn't eat, he would tell them (politely) "I can't eat that, it has yuckies in it." We had to teach him that it was ok to accept the candy, just say thank you and we would trade it out for something he could eat at home. He kind of accepted that plan but would look over his shoulder at eat house that gave out "yuckies." I'm amazed at how well he understands the his allergies. He isn't the least bit tempted to eat stuff. And if it's something he doesn't recognize he would ask us first if he could eat it.

After trick or treating we came back to the hospital to see our little monkey. We put his costume back on for more pictures and then roamed the halls. Just to get out of the room for a bit.

Daddy with his dragon and little monkey.

Our little family on Halloween.

Moving on from Halloween...

This was taken a day or two before Jax went to the hospital. I thought he looked so big laying on his scale. We have our own scale at home and weigh him frequently. It use to be everyday until once again my mental health couldn't handle that. Now I have promised Neil to only weigh him twice a week. Being short gut weight is very precious and sometimes hard to come by so it's a constant worry for me. But I'm happy to report that Jackson finally hit 13 pounds. And 13 pounds has never looked better. Hoping to see 14 lbs faster than 13 but we'll see.

Along with everyone else in Cache Valley we hit up the Pumpkin Walk. We invited cousins to come along and Carter loved being with someone other than boring old mom and dad. The best part for him was riding the bus up there. Here are Tyler, Carter and Kayla waiting for the bus.

Our family in front of the Angry Birds exhibit. Carter loves playing Angry Birds so he got a kick out of his display.

My favorite part...the head slots. Kayla, Carter and Tyler. Carter is never thrilled about getting his picture taken but he really enjoyed it tonight and was going from cartoon to cartoon posing it up.

I love this picture. He has no idea who this is but he sure make a pair of seashells and a tail look good doesn't he?!?!

Here is Carter's new trick. I don't like that he's learned this trick but I do find it hard to not laugh. He now goes and hides in his closet if he is doing something he knows he shouldn't. I found him this day with the Ipad (I had told him no games that morning so he just snuck it instead). The morning after Halloween I found him in here with 3 boxes of candy. The best part is that he's learned to hide but he gives himself away so easily. If I call out his name he immediately answers and I catch him red handed!

Onto the birthday bash........

Carter was so excited for my birthday and has been for weeks. He would randomly come up to me through out the weeks and give me a big hug and tell me "Happy Burt-day Mom." So sweet. He kept asking me what presents I wanted for my birthday and I tried to give him some ideas/hints that would be easy for him to pick out. Once I got done with my list he would say "Don't you want a green race car for your Burt-day?" Or "Don't you want an ambulance with doors that open and has a siren?" And I'd tell him that in fact I didn't want those things but he should write those things down on his list for Santa. He ended up picking me out some lime green slippers, which I actually hinted about. He chose the final pair all by himself and kept asking me "Don't you like your slippers Mom?"

We had been planning on baking a cake together and decorating it some way fun. We had planned on making a Mickey Mouse cake (guess whose idea that was...) but with being at the hospital all day that just didn't happen. Instead we had a round boring cake. But it was still delicious. Thank you to Duncan Hines who doesn't put milk powder in their cake mixes. I just used their cake mix(usually I have to make everything from scratch) and added egg substitutes instead of real eggs. Then I added a TB of applesauce to keep the moisture in. This cake was so moist and delicious. Vegan cooking is really starting to become my talent.....

On to Mr. Jax

When he wasn't fevering he was actually very happy while in the hospital. Except when they had to place that darn IV in his head or arm.

Here he is at the ER. Playing with his favorite toy. He has come a long way with his interest in toys. Before he knew nothing of toys and therefore, had no need for them. Now he knows just what to do with them and they go straight to his mouth. And he actually holds onto them and is really starting to use his hands. He wants to grab everything now, including my hair. He kept pulling the Heart Rate monitor(red thing on stomach) off his stomach. I love seeing him improve with things like that and catching up. He's a quick learning. Now on to mastering rolling....

Here's to a great November and celebrating all we are thankful for. Which is a lot!

The streak continues.......

Jackson is back in the hospital. You would think we would be use to it by now and that it would be easier to swallow. It's not. It's horribly depressing. Another picc line infection. Another week in the hospital.

Our streak is not one to envy. So far we have spent these holidays in the hospital: Memorial Day, Carter's birthday, Neil's birthday, Flag Day, Fourth of July, Pioneer Day, Labor Day, and now my birthday and Halloween. I guess we really only have Thanksgiving and Christmas to make it a perfect 10. I am already so nervous about spending those holidays in the hospital. I may need to be admitted to the psych ward if that does happen.

Friday was my 3oth birthday. That in and of its self is depressing. But then to spend almost the whole day in the ER then be admitted to hospital almost put me over the edge. I had a fun little party planned for the 4 of us. Mostly for Carter's entertainment. Instead we had a short, mediocre party with the 3 of us.

The few minutes I'm not at the hospital each day are filled with constant reminders of who is missing in our house. I find his binkies everywhere. I fold his cute baby clothes that he doesn't get to wear. I walk past his dark, empty room and wish so badly he was home with us. Instead I drive down the street each and every day and spend the majority of my day sitting in a small hospital room with my baby.

Which leads me to the next problem. I have 2 "babies" that need me. And I can't fully meet each of their needs with them being in different places. Carter will go with me for part of the days and sit in the room and play with his Ipad or watch TV. But he gets bored easily and I can't blame him. Thank heavens for Grandmas who help me during the day and take a shift either with Jax or Carter. And thank heavens for wonderful nurses who dote on my baby and feed and snuggle him when I can't be there. He is the ONLY pediatric patient in the whole hospital. Goes to show how small this hospital really is. Last week the Peds floor was officially closed, now Jax has gone and opened it up! And since Jax is there, they have to lock down the floor so nobody steals him..........if someone did steal my cute baby I'm sure they would have him back in the hour after they learned of all his problems!

I am convinced that no mother or father for that matter, should EVER have to rush their baby to the emergency room. Know how many times I have had to do that with Carter or Jax? More times than I can count. Pretty soon I will have a designated parking spot out front of the ER.

And no parent should ever know the fear of having their phone ring in the middle of the night, see the hospital on caller ID and be told by the nurse to "please come quickly." Jax gave us quite a scare Sunday morning. Life flight or ambulance was almost called to give him a ride to Primary Children's. Luckily the problem turned out to be minor and he could stay in Logan. Which is good....I was still in my pajamas and I hadn't brushed my teeth.

Being a mom to a chronically sick baby is hard. Really hard. It's physically and emotionally draining. And I've learned that emotionally draining is twice as hard as physical. Sometimes I feel bad about complaining about my trial when it is obvious that others have a much heavier cross to bear. I know babies who shared a room with Jax at the NICU who have since passed away. I think of them and their families often. How hard and unfair life is for them. I cannot think of anything harder than losing a child. I was talking with a wise friend who has trials far beyond mine. I told her I could never complain or think my life was hard. She put it a really great way when she told me that just because it's not the "hardest" trial in life, it is still hard, really hard, and very real to me. Someone else having a harder trial does not make my trial any less, especially to me.

I remember when we were at Primary Children's last time and I was riding the elevator. I rode with a man, a stranger, who I guess was desperate for conversation. He said "Why are you here?" (At Primary's you can tell who is a visitor and who has children admitted by a special badge you wear.) I told him my baby just had surgery. He asked what for and not wanting to get into it I simply told him "He was born with an obstructed bowel." His reply...."Oh well that's easy." I just smiled and got off the elevator. Part of me wanted to scream and tell him that no, it's not easy. Jax's life may never be easy. And that 99% of bowel obstructions are easy but for some reason, we were in that 1%. I don't really believe in statistics or percentages. I know Jax proudly accepted this trial on the other side, but the mortal part of me still wonders "Why." Why him. Why does life have to be hard for a baby. I don't care that my life is thrown upside down. I care that he goes through so much. I would take short gut syndrome if that meant he could be healthy.

The other day I found some blogs of fellow short gut parents. I try to not look on the internet anymore about short gut. The statistics aren't always promising. Neil has made me promise to stop reading internet info.........but I'm glad I found these blogs. All about darling little kids/babies who live the life of short gut. And guess what? Among all the hospitalizations, infections, and etc I found happy children, happy families, and a new "normal" life. You can be happy with short gut. You learn to find a new "normal." Not the normal I use to live, but maybe a better normal. There were children who live with basically no side effects of short gut. There are others who still have TPN at 5 years old. There are some who moved across the country to be closer to a children's hospital. Those who sold their houses and quit their jobs to give their child the best shot at a healthy life. I realized you can even have more kids after a short gut baby! I realized we are very blessed. It can always be worse. Much worse. Modern Medicine and Science are amazing. We are so lucky to live so close to Primary Children's and to have the doctors we have. We feel that if we weren't lead to the Surgeon we had, Jackson's quality of life may have never been as good as it is now. I believe he was truly inspired by the things he did and the procedures he performed. All out of the ordinary and all beneficial to my baby.

This post may be depressing but a little therapeutic for me. Life is hard sometimes but that doesn't change the fact that I would and will do anything for my 2 boys. They are worth each and every heartache and tear.

To lighten the post up a bit: A cute pic of my boys, in the hospital, in their halloween costumes. They were the cutest kids there. And I can say that without lying since Jax is the only pediatric patient there!

Photo Shoot

We were bored one day and so I decided to take some very amateur shots of the boys. I had to bribe Carter with fruit snacks to get him to cooperate as he does not appreciate having his picture taken. But I must say, he was willing to do anything for a fruit snack and really got into this shoot. He was making up his own poses and I could barely get any normal shots of him.

I can't believe how old he looks. He was my first baby and now he's all grown up. I tell him all the time that he was my first baby and that I miss him as my baby but the truth is, I love him at this age. He's so fun.

One of his own poses. And an action we see frequently when he decided to dance to music.

Ever since his Uncle Steve taught him what an "elbow drop" is, he has been very aware of his elbows and a little rough with them. Thank you Steve.

He's all about the fake Cheese smile. I couldn't get him to smile normally for me.

I laugh when I see this pose that he chose.
This one is actually my favorite. He was so proud of himself for thinking of this position and I almost got a real Carter smile out of him.

Here is the picture that best reflects my first baby. All grown up.

I decided to snap some of Jax as well and try as I may, I couldn't get one smile out of him....

Notice the darling quilt behind him? My best friend Kristen made this for him and hand delivered it while he was still in the NICU. Before his take down surgery he wasn't allowed to use any of his nice quilts that people made, for fear of leaking all over them. Now I need to snap more pics of him with the other adorable quilts he has.

He and Kristen have a special bond in that they have both had major bowel surgery and they've both said it was quite painful!

Jax with his new monkey. Carter has a stuffed monkey that he sleeps with each night and so Aunt Linsey thought Jax should have his own. Carter tried to convince us that he needed to sleep with this monkey too.

Blessing Day

We were finally able to bless Jackson on the 9th of October. We had set a couple of other tentative times to bless him but he always ended up in the hospital. It was a very special day for our family and lots of our extended family came to support us. We are very thankful for the support our family gives/gave us so we were glad they were here for this special day.

This is how excited Jackson was to be blessed. He was perfect during the blessing and didn't make a sound. He got to wear the same outfit that Carter wore 3 years ago. I love to have them wear some of the same clothing and compare pictures. Jax is 4 months old at his blessing and

Carter is almost 2 months old.

Look how fat and rolly Carter was. Complete opposite of Jax.

Our happy little family. All together.

Carter had to give Jax a smooch! Thanks to everyone who came to support us and Jax. Jax is very lucky to have so many people who love and pray for him.

Jax

So much to catch up on. So little time. I'll have to do more than one post to get everything. We arrived home September 26th. After 5 LOOOONG weeks in the hospital. Boy were we glad to be home and sleep in our own beds. And most importantly, have our sweet little Jackson home with us.

I've thrown some random pics from the hospital in the post, just because.

Jax experienced the BUMBO chair for the first time in the hospital. He quite enjoyed it and it was a nice change from laying in his bed the whole day. He has great head control for being in the hospital for so long and not getting a lot of tummy time as a newborn.

Neil's sister Linsey is a Dr. at the U and also does some work at Primarys. We were so lucky to have her. Seriously, I don't know how we could have survived our stay at the hospital without her. She lives about 3 miles from the hospital and let the 3 of us crash at her house for 5 weeks. Without any complaint. And she even took time out of her busy busy schedule to stop by and see Jax almost every day. Carter was in heaven living with Aunt Linsey and she spoiled him rotten. She was so patient with him and they went on so many fun adventures to give Neil and I a chance to be at the hospital without carter.

During the 5 weeks Jax was in the hospital I only left once. It was a Saturday and we needed to come back to Logan to do some things and gather some things. When I left Jax was happy and doing great. Of course once we arrived back in Logan I found out he was throwing up again and not allowed to eat for 24 hours. I was so sad to be away from him and worried constantly about him. But Aunt Linsey came to the rescue. She spent most of that night sitting in the rocking chair holding a cranky baby who desperately wanted to eat. She said she sat for about 6 hours straight just holding him while he slept. Then she came back bright and early the next morning until I could get there. We really owe Linsey a lot for all she did for us and our boys.

This picture is from August when Jax really started smiling. He is still a smiley guy. He doesn't laugh yet but he is so close......when he really smiles his whole body almost shakes and he makes a soft grunting noise because he is trying so hard to laugh.

Loves his big brother and is so patient with a loud and overbearing 3 year old always in his face!

The first week we got home was a little rough. I was hoping since he didnt' have his ostomies anymore, life would be a breeze. I was wrong. The day after we got home he got diarrhea and that freaked me out. He doesn't have any weight to lose and I was worried about dehydration and him losing weight. I eventually pinpointed what was causing the diarrhea. Right before we left the hospital they started adding stuff to the breast milk he drinks. Microlipids and pectin. Lipids are just fats that were suppose to help him gain weight faster. And the pectin was just regular old canning pectin added to help thicken his stool and slow down the process for him. But once I took those out of his diet, the diarrhea went away almost immediately. And things got so much better. His poor little bum paid a dear price though. He had a wicked diaper rash from the constant diarrhea that took me until today to clear up. Now that the diarrhea is gone, he is back to gaining weight and I am breathing a bit easier now.

This was kind of a sweet moment for me.....Because of everything Jackson has had he had NEVER been in running water before. He was always sponged bathed. And because he still has that PICC in his arm, he cannot be submerged in water. He can't get the picc wet. So I bathed him in the sink the very first day we got home. He loves it. I can't wait until the day his PICC is gone and he can splash in the real tub. I have a feeling he will love every second of it.

He has really found his hands in the last few days and has them in his mouth frequently. He isn't so much sucking on them as he is chewing on them. I thought he may be teething at first but haven't seen any teeth pop in. Either way, it's causing a lot of drooling!

Don't you wish your bum was this cute?!? He is still very very skinny and super long. His height is in the 70% and his weight only in the 3rd%. We just started adding some alimentum formula to his breast milk to try and pack on the pounds. Regular formula or breast milk is 20 calories per ounce. Jackson's milk is bulked up to 24 calories per ounce. I am hoping and praying this will do the trick to put some meat on his bones. He is still on TPN. That is why he needs the PICC line. We brought him home on only 3 nights a week of TPN but I asked the Dr. to increase it to every night while he had the diarrhea to give him extra calories. The plan is to keep him on TPN nightly until he shows us that his weight gain is steady and he doesn't need it. I was really hoping he wouldn't need it after surgery but he does. The Dr. keeps telling me that a short gut patient, at only 4 months old, getting only 12 hours a day of TPN is remarkable. So I try and remember that. The research shows that most short gut patient's guts(did you get all that?!) don't start to figure stuff out totally until about 6 months old. So he still in right on track. And just because he needs TPN now, doesn't mean he will always need it. I pray very specifically each day for his gut to figure out how to absorb all he needs, with what little he has left. It can be done and I'm praying for it!

He still loves TV. Which is good and bad....I'll explain more about that later.

My tiny boy. This tiny boy has 2 temperaments. Happy and smiling or Screaming. There is rarely an in between. When he is mad he can scream like it's no body's business.

But when he's happy, he's quite the charmer. When he flashes that dimple I pretty much give him whatever he wants!

We are really trying to make up for lost time now that he is home and doing so well. He didn't get a lot of tummy time before due to all the hardware on his stomach and all the time in the hospital. When we left Primary Children's they referred Jackson to the "Up to 3" state program. Simply for the fact that he's spent most of his time in the hospital. His gut problems should cause no developmental delays but being in a hospital can. So the therapists are coming out and evaluation this week. He has great head control, can roll from tummy to back(rare, but he can) but the biggest problem she noticed was about toys. I noticed before that he has no real interest in toys. He'd rather look around and can entertain himself by just looking at things. Which is a common problem after being hospitalized for so long. He constantly had new surroundings and people around him that he was entertained by them. So we are going to work on him discovering toys and wanting to reach out and grab them. And once he grabs them, putting them in his mouth. Even in the last 2 days as I've worked a little with him, he's starting to recognize toys and get excited at the sight of them. Now we just need him to want to pick them up and play with them. He has the muscle tone and capability to do that, he just doesn't know he should. The therapist thinks he should catch on really quickly and won't need help very long.

And here is my sweet boy in all his glory. His 3 scars. Which are healing so nicely. I can barely remember 6 weeks ago and all the stuff he had attached to his abdomen. Modern medicine is truly amazing.

Jax is still not up to full feeds yet but I am hoping by the end of the month to have him to his goal amount. Which is about 120 mL per feeding. Right now he is at about 105 mL per feeding. So we're not too far off. I am increasing his amount very slowly as to not overwhelm his gut. If we push to fast, it can really set him back and we don't want that. I feel a lot of pressure being in charge of decisions like this. When to increase, when to stay where we're at etc...

All in all he's doing really well and we're loving having him home and doing normal things together. He is such a sweet little boy and we're very lucky to have him in our home and family. Because he still has the PICC line in his arm it is VERY likely he will get another infection and have to be hospitalized again. I don't mean to be pessimistic but the odds aren't in our favor. But today we hit 16 days straight of being home together. Our previous record was 10 days. So we're hoping no infections and many many more days at home together.

My First Baby

I can't forget Carter in all of these posts so this one is dedicated to him. I want to write down some of the funny and some of the horribly naughty things he does before I forget them.

Carter is the classic "First Child." At least classic as to what I imagine all first children to be like. Not spoiled per se, but waited upon and had my sole attention for 2.9 years. He doesn't really want to be independent. And I REALLY need him to be more independent now that Jackson is here and requires a lot of attention. I have had to really bribe and threaten him to start doing some simple tasks by himself. Dressing himself, cleaning up his toys, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, and etc. I really don't want to be putting his underwear on him when he's 11. This morning I told him we needed to get his teeth brushed before we put his clothes on for the day. I came into the bathroom, and to my surprise he had started brushing his own teeth! I'm not ready to relinquish complete control on teeth brushing yet but he is allowed to start brushing his teeth, and I finish.

He really loves his baby brother. We have lots of nicknames for Jackson and Carter has adopted them all and uses them frequently. He uses a high pitched voice he reserves just for Jax and Jax really eats it up. Jax loves to watch Carter and loves the attention Carter gives him. He saves some of his best smiles and coos for his big brother. Carter copies a lot of what I say and uses that with Jax. I don't realize what I say until I hear Carter repeat it.....Some examples: "Hi Honey bear, do you have any smiles for me? That's a good smile Jax!"

Both of my boys posing in their pajamas. Which I am really trying hard to have us all out of our pajamas before lunch some mornings!
He likes to be affectionate with Jackson and wants to give him hugs and kisses before I put him down for each and every nap. And if I forget, he calls me on it. He hates to see Jax cry and if he's in bed crying, he will sprint into his room and turn on his little mobile that's attached to the side of his crib. He's such a great helper and knows the names of all the supplies so I can tell him to please get me a blue flush, a saline flush and an alcohol swab please! He really wants to help me flush Jax's PICC line but that is a sterile procedure so no go on that one!

We bought an IPAD during our long stay in the hospital. Mostly for entertainment purposes and Carter is obsessed with it. He knows his way around and through that thing better than I do. He begs to play games and watch movies on it. I have to hide it when he's spent enough time on it because he will sneak it and play it forever! But man, it does keep him quiet forever.

Carter is really into practicing his photography skills. He's getting a lot better with heads only being cut off about 25% of the time. I don't even remember him taking this lovely picture of me.

Carter is really into riding his bike. He has a scoot bike, which has no pedals that he is a pro on. We bought him a regular pedal bike and he is terrified of it. Which is exactly how he was with his scoot bike at first. My cautious little boy. He gets that from me. This picture is from a bike track in Park City that we went to a couple of times during our stays in SLC. He loved it.

Here are Carter and Neil playing "demolition derby" on their bikes. A game made up by Carter. We took him to 2 demolition derbys during the summer and he fell in love. So now he plays demolition derby all the time. On his bike, just running around the house and with his toy cars. Keeps him entertained for hours.

He's great at playing alone but does occasionally want me to play with him. But really, he just wants me to sit there and watch him play. Example: He has a road rug in his room that he loves to drive his cars on. He'll ask me to play and I'll come in and sit down but I'm not allowed to sit or kneel on the rug. Only he is. Then when I grab a car and start playing along, he tells me that he wants to be that specific car....so basically I just watch. But it makes him happy.

Trying his pedal bike.....while whining the whole time!

He has got quite the attitude lately. He is getting sassy in his 3rd year of life. If I ask him to get in bed he will respond "You get in bed mom." No idea where he learned to be this sassy but I'm trying to nip it in the bud. When he gets frustrated with me or what i'm asking him to do his new phrase is "Momma, you make me tired(or crazy, or mad)." Said while giving the biggest sigh. I may or may not have said that to him before!

This boy is all about the food. I'm not sure where he puts it all because at his 3 yr check-up the Dr. said he was actually a but underweight for his height. He wants to eat constantly and I always have to tell him no. This night we were having his all-time favorite meal. Meatballs and rice with cornbread. Menu planned by Carter. He is so messy....granted cornbread is crumbly but it looked like a cornbread massacre after he was finished. I contemplated just bringing in a hose and hosing down the kitchen.

Here he is after drinking another love of his....a smoothie. He refuses to leave one drop in the cup and so his face ends up looking like the Joker. He had no idea why were laughing at him this day and why I was snapping his picture. It's even in his eyebrows if you look closely. While staying in SLC with Aunt Linsey, she spoiled him rotten by making him her famous smoothies almost every day.

While in SLC we had the opportunity to attend the Ringling Brothers Circus. He had no idea what a circus really was but he quite enjoyed himself. He kept his "ticket" clutched in his hand almost the entire show.

His favorite part was the elephants. Mine was the Tigers.

Me and Carter at the Circus. We forgot to get Neil in the picture but we all had a fun time, but missed having Jackson with us. He liked the circus so much that we are going to a different circus later this week. In Logan!

He has been such a great little boy through out this whole time in and out of the hospital. He is so patient and so adaptable. He is really growing up right before our eyes. He has always been a very clear talker and rarely mispronounces anything. But there is one word that he has always messed up. He would says GRILLS instead of girls. And so Neil and I (and others even!) would use the word grills too, just because it was so cute and fun to say. Then one day, while in SLC he started saying GIRLS. We were so sad because it was our favorite word to hear him say. We even continued to say GRILLS and he would correct us. He's growing right up.

We decided earlier this summer that maybe naps were a thing of the past. He was having such a hard time going to bed at night so we decided to try not having naps. This is what I found almost every day. A sound asleep little boy about 4 pm in the afternoon. He would fall asleep playing or watching TV or whatever he was doing. Which isn't like Carter at all. He is very much a sleep on in the bed kind of boy. And if we were able to keep him awake til bedtime he turned into a very grumpy boy about 5 o'clock and we could barely stand him. So naps are back on. They are only successful (him falling asleep) about 50% of the time, but either way I get an hour break.

Carter keeps us laughing daily at all his new tricks and phrases. Sometimes we have to try and hide our laughter as he is throwing a fit or sassing but we sure love him and his spunk!