Our not so Happy Halloween

It's almost Christmas and I still haven't blogged about Halloween.  I kept telling myself I'm too busy to blog about it but the truth is, Halloween wasn't so happy at our house this year.  It didn't bring warm fuzzies and I still look back at the pictures and feel sad.  If you are against depressing blog posts, please skip this one.  

Some pictures do make me smile though.  Like Carter dressed up in his cute Fireman costume.  He was so excited about Halloween and between a church party, preschool and actual Halloween, he got to wear his costume 3 times!  I had plans to dress the boys up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 and we talked about his for months.  Then a friend gave Carter their son's hand-me-down toys and that included an old fireman costume.  So we reached a compromise and Carter agreed to wear the fireman costume to party and preschool and be Thing 1 for Halloween.  When it came time to put on his red one piece and spray his hair blue, he broke down and sobbed.  For some reason he was sooooo embarrassed to have painted hair and be Thing 1.  He wouldn't even come out of his room to let Neil look at him.  I tried every bribe in the world but they were just met with more sobbing.  I didn't want Carter's Halloween ruined so I let him be the fireman again.  And he was the cutest fireman I had ever seen.  (Truth be told, I remember being about 9 or 10 and being dressed up for Halloween and feeling so silly in my costume and wishing I were at home instead of out trick or treating.  Carter and I are a bit a like I guess...)

This picture pretty much sums up the rest of the evening.  Jax had a horrible stomachache and didn't feel well.  I dressed him up anyways and we headed out.

Traumatized ex-Thing 1 Carter and sick Jax didn't make for any good shots of them together.  And by this point, after many many tears and crying I was done trying.  

 His stomach ache subsided a bit after a while and he managed to be a bit happy while out trick or treating.

My 3 favorite boys.  Neil and I were actually going to dress up this year but after melt-down city 2012 earlier, it left no time.  

This is where the night got even harder, and sadder.  Jackson cannot have sugar.  And surprisingly at this young age he knew he was being left out and wanted candy.  I felt like Trick or Treating was a bit cruel because I take him out and he gets to watch everyone else eat and get candy.  And he gets nothing.  As he watched Carter unload his bag his whining turned to sobbing.  I finally felt so bad that I gave him a dum-dum.

 He was all smiles as he ate this tiny piece of candy.  Since he already had an upset stomach I didn't dare let him eat the whole sucker.  Once I took it away from him he sobbed and threw himself onto the floor over and over.  He cried for an hour straight.  I felt horrible.  I was angry, at the world.  At everyone who gets to Trick or Treat and not think anything of it.  I don't see this problem getting any better as he gets older either. Will he be alienated?  Will he come to hate Holidays?  I am torn between keeping a fair balance between my boys.  I was at the point that night to swear off Halloween forever.  But I can't do that to Carter.....I can't take away candy just because his brother can't have it.  I'm already brainstorming ideas for next Halloween on how to make it less traumatic for someone who can't eat candy.  I'm already dreading future Christmas', Easters, Valentines Day etc for the same reason.  I feel like I handle Jackson's condition with a little class most of the time but Halloween was really hard on me.  It reminds me of how much Short Gut has taken from us, and will continue to take.  I wasn't kidding when I said this post was depressing eh?!

 After I finally got Jackson to bed we let Carter go through his stash and he was in heaven.  Amazingly about 90% of his candy was "Carter Safe" and that left very few pieces for Neil and I to steal:(  Here's to a happier Next Halloween!

A few days earlier we celebrated my 3?st birthday(a lady never reveals her true age!).  And once again we ate sugar and treats in front of poor Jackson.  I'm really trying my hardest to come up with something that kind of resembles cake/sweets.  At least with Carter, even if he can't have exactly what others are having we can come pretty close or give him something sweet, but not Jax.  A steak and potato don't really come close to cake and ice cream.  It was fun to celebrate with my little family and watch how excited Carter got about everything.  He was very sweet to pick out a birthday present for me, all by himself.  Usually he wants to buy something for the birthday person that he enjoys..aka cars, trucks, skittles, etc.  But this year he picked out 2 big boxes of Hot Tamales for me.  For some reason he thinks they are my favorite(I like them but they aren't' my fav).  The biggest thing is that he does not like them so it truly was a thoughtful gift from him.  Each morning when he came into my room he'd grab the boxes off my dresser and ask "Mom don't you want some tamales right now?  I bought them for you because I love you!"  And so with my morning breath I would eat a few tamales at 7 am!  What a sweet boy he is!

Now to get caught up before Christmas is here and over!